Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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