So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
