i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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