What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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