this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
