32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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