If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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