so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
