bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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