he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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