so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
