So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
