i don't like sucking hair
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
All I want is dick and wine.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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