i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
