margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Buhtt sex?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my liver is dry heaving
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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