WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
