No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
