So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
