So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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