just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
