I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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