I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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