I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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