I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
