Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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