Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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