The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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