i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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