I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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