Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
