What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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