let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize