im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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