This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
