you guys were way drunker than both of me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
