I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
