Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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