I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
