Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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