dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
