and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm too high and old for this...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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