Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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