he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
