Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
