I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
