i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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