his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
