I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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