I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
two words: eviction party
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
