Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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